Tides come and go

So since my last agonizing post some things have improved and then are heading back down, like the tides, they rise but soon they fall back down. I started school, I got a job. The job kinda sucked I worked as a cook but I had some friends there but we'd stay up all night drinking and partying after work, which was fun but not what I needed. The job was kind of stressful so I found an easier job for more pay working with handicapp people. Nice and easy, school was going pretty good. I'd go to school, work out until it was time for work, go to work and do my homework and study at work at night after he went to bed, go home sleep... repeat... repeat... repeat. Nice and boring, sucked a bit cause I didn't really have friends anymore. I met a cool chick, it was fun though I didn't have much time and neither did she. She wanted an intimate realationship that I can't give her right now. I am far from ready to commit to anyone right now. It made her feel bad, we called it off and are trying to be friends but she keeps hoping for more. Work cut my hours back to almost nothing, I am broke as a joke! I barely have enough to pay most my bills, I have been having to use my credit cards and eat my parents food. School is still ok except one class sucks. Being busy has kept me from drinking, I haven't had a bottle in my house for quite a while, or any beer. I have gone out with friends a couple times and drank but nothing like it used to be. But now that I am not working as much I feel the want to drink rising, luckily I am too broke to buy any, they only accept cash for some reason so I can't use my cards. I keep telling myself that it will negativly affect my working out. I am getting into good shape and getting healthy, though my nutrition is getting worse since I don't have enough money for good food, I am going to frozen dinners, ramen noodles, and mac and cheese but its still food. All I can do is keep fighting and keep living. Live for this moment, before the moments gone. Try to find the little moments when its quiet and there are no thoughts going through my head. Sooner or later the tides will go back down and then they will go back up, no sense in fighting them in either direction.